Friday 3 January 2014

Honesty Is Such A Lonely Word


I have had this debate with an old friend more times than I can count. What is the best policy? To be truthful, keep everything out in the open? Or are you a fan of 'what they don't know won't hurt them'?
I must admit, until recently I always believed honesty was best. Secrets are bad, truth is good. But I had never been in a situation where it really mattered. People and feelings are never as black and white as that.
I think in a relationship, you have to be honest, if you want that relationship to last. No relationship can exist without trust and trust and honesty go hand in hand. But that doesn't mean you have to tell them everything. There's a level of relevance. If you've got a bad case of wind, it doesn't need to be shared, but if you're having an affair with the boss, then that's pretty relevant.
I'm also of the view that if rebuilding a relationship is the aim, honesty is the key. If one person in the relationship has cheated and they decide to come clean then they should come clean with all of it. My friend used to say 'the truth will always come out in the end' and unfortunately she is right. If your partner finds out you have been keeping things, even the smallest detail, then they will suspect more lies and bigger secrets.
However, on a completely different note, if there is nothing to be gained by the honesty than someone's feelings getting hurt, then it is a selfish act. A way of clearing one's conscience. Although sometimes it is necessary to establish if a relationship is worth keeping. If I had been honest with a friend years ago, then I might have realised how much she wasn't a friend.
So to summarise, honesty may leave you lonely. It is best to take every situation as it comes.

This post was inspired by... http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/03/daily-prompt-truth/

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